CHARACTERS
Richard Dane-Owner of a frame shop who kills a burglar in his home. Hates to be called Dick.
Ann-His wife.
Jordan-His four year old son, blond hair, almond shaped eyes, and Daddy�s cleft chin.
Lieutenant Price-Police investigator.
Freddy Russell-Supposed burglar that Dane killed.
Valerie and James-Work in the frame shop.
Jack Crow-Obnoxious mailman.
Mack-Works at newspaper office.
Jerry Quail-Richard�s best friend in high school.
Kay-Waitress at Kelly�s Caf�.
Ted Lawson-Housepainter friend.
Truman-Locksmith.
Ben Russell-Freddy�s father who wants revenge at first. Later he goes to work in Dane�s shop and beats up the mailman. He is an ex-con out of Huntsville.
Fergusons-Dane neighbors.
Kevin-Police officer.
Herman Dane-Richard�s father who shot himself when Richard was 12.
Uncle Ned-Herman�s brother.
Jim Bob Luke-Private Investigator from Pasadena on Mulberry Street. He shows up later in Bad Chili and Captain�s Outrageous with Hap and Leonard. He drives an old red Cadillac that he calls the Red Bitch. It has baby shoes and fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror. He knows Hapkido, a Korean martial art. He also raises hogs. He calls Hispanics such names as Frito and Chili Lips. His land is so rich that Raoul plans to plant a pussy hair and grow a woman but the only pussy hair he can get is his wife�s and he doesn�t want another one of her.
Mick-Former partner of Ben in hotel robberies.
Calvin Hedges-Former sheriff in Smith County.
Calvin Jr-FBI agent.
Henry-Plows Jim Bob�s land.
Raoul-Takes care of the hogs.
Manuel Rodriguez-Not a legal doctor but does OK. Shares house with Raoul.
Rosalita-His wife.
Horace Williams-Car salesman.
Phil-Filling station attendant.
William Randolph-Real name of the burglar.
FACTS
Richard bought a .38 snub nosed revolver five years earlier after a family was killed near LaBorde. He keeps it in a shoe box on the top shelf of the closet.
They live on a 5 acre plot off Lake Road.
He shot the burglar in the right eye.
They had a little girl who was born dead at 8 and a half months.
Jordan goes to day school at the Baptist Church.
They lived in Houston for a while and moved to LaBorde.
He eats at Kelly�s, an old fashioned caf�, where Stud Franklin shot himself in the head with a .22. It is also the place where Richard tried to put his hand up the skirt of Kathy Counsel. He got slapped for his trouble. Later she got knocked up by the quarterback, Herschel Roman.
The burglar was buried at Greenley�s Cemetery
There is a honky tonk called Wagon Wheel.
Ben had worked at the aluminum chair plant and thought it was Hell.
Freddy is wanted by the Dixie Mafia and had to disappear.
The video store where Freddy works is called The Caravan.
The men use the cover that they work for the highway dept. counting tractor-trailer trucks.
Freddy�s alias in Houston is Fred Miller.
QUOTES
I hope a rabid dog chews off your nuts.
There�s a lady in the room! One that costs money?
Pecker still gets hard as a screwdriver.
Just because man was born with his butt hanging out didn�t mean he had to stay that way.
Look on his face like he�d eat shit and sugar before he�d take a beating from anyone.
Where were the Three Stooges when you really need them?
I was as nervous as a witch during the Inquisition.
Here you tell it there isn�t anything you aren�t good at. I don�t whistle too well.
PLOT
Richard Dane kills a burglar in his home. The burglar�s father wants to get revenge. The burglar turns out not to be who he is supposed to be so Richard and the father team up with a private eye to find the truth.
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