Trudy Fawst-Thirty-six year old ex-wife of Hap and several other men. Long legged blond who has had more than her share of men. She left Hap for Pete, left him for Bill and Bill for Howard. She is very tough. Soldier drives a nail through her hand but she will not tell him where the money is. In college she dreamed of being an artist but closest she got was dressing manequins in store windows. She has been gone for two years before she shows up in this story. Presently she works at the Dairy Palace and drives a VW.
Howard-Trudy's latest, a big blond former nuclear protestor who spent time in Leavenworth. While there he met Softboy McCall who told him about some stolen money hidden/lost in the Sabine River. Softboy dies and later Howard is released after serving 18 months of a 2 year term. He decides to find the money. At one point he tries to push Hap in the chest and Hap puts him on his knees. He is presently working in a gas station where he is identified as Floyd on his shirt and drives a yellow Volvo.
Charles aka Chub-Fat, shaggy haired former rich kid from Houston whose parents disowned him. He knows medicine but never became a doctor.
Gabriel Lane aka Paco-60s radical leader who was wanted by the FBI but is thought to be dead from an explosion. He is badly scarred from the explosion but was doctored and saved by Chub. He double crosses the group.
Soldier-Big time bad guy and friend of Paco's. He wants the money to make a big buy. He wants to have a large vocablulary but can never think of the words he wants to use.
Angel-Soldier's body-building girlfriend. She has to supply Soldier with the words he tries to think of.
Dr Dumas-Works on Hap and Leonard at the end of the book.
Jack Divit-FBI agent who investigates the happenings in the book.
Old Man Lacy-Runs the rose field.
Calvin-Feeds Leonard's dogs while Leonard is away.
A hard dick knows no conscience.
He's got a nice perky ass, but he's not my type.
I can accept who I am - Chub
I don't think I can - Leonard
I'd go over and kick that fucker till he came back to life.
Legs like God would have given his very own woman.
It got under his skin like a chigger.
I hoped it was so cold her vagina was frozen shut.
Sue me. I've got a juvenile streak.
Houses looked to have been set in their spot by Dorothy's tornado.
I was bored enough to jack off with a fist full of barbed wire and roses.
Cold as the tip of a penguins dick.
I wouldn't have pissed on him had he been on fire, I would have stomped the flames out.
You're a match made in heaven.
There is mention of the old Apache Drive-In Theater that has a partial title on the marquee reading ED N HE ST. I could not figure out what the movie was. The best thing anyone has come up with is DEAD IN THE WEST which is not a movie, but should be.
There is also a mention of monkey blood and I didn't know the meaning of that until some fans wrote to me and told me it was iodine.
Book opens with Hap and Leonard shooting skeet and along comes Trudy with a story of easy money lost near an old iron bridge on the Sabine River near where Hap grew up. Hap and Leonard decide to help Trudy and her friends get the money. Trudy says it is for a cause but Hap and Leonard just want their share for themselves. They do some scuba diving to look for the money and Hap nearly drowns. Leonard saves him. Hap is so out of it after Leonard pulls him out that he thinks Leonard is talking to someone named Shadhad. He is actually calling Hap shithead. The money is found but not as much as they thought it would be, so Trudy and Howard double cross our boys. They take the $400,000 that is found to buy guns but are double crossed themselves by the supposed arms sellers, Soldier and Angel, who are friends of Paco's. After quite an adventure Hap and Leonard barely escape with their lives. Leonard's dogs aren't so lucky. Soldier kills them after Switch helps Trudy, Hap and Leonard escape. In the end, Trudy, Howard, Paco, Chub, and Angel are all killed. Soldier is sent to jail. Hap regains the money, keeps some to help Leonard and plans to send the rest to Greenpeace.
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